Sorry, I meant Turkmenistan, the ex-Soviet state just north of Iran, where President-for-life (so declared since 1999) Saparmurat Niyazov rivals North Korea’s Kim Jong-Il for megalomania and iron-fisted control. It would be comic if it weren’t so real. The Washington Post reported last week:

Festivities to mark his two decades in power began Tuesday in Niyazov's home Akhal region where citizens were offered shows, concerts, sports competitions and food. […]

Niyazov, who turns 66 in February, has banned all opposition in the nation of 6 million people and controls all branches of government and the media.

Golden statues and busts of Niyazov are scattered across the country, and his portrait is on every banknote and coin.

The BBC reported a few years ago that he had his likeness woven into “what is probably the world's largest handmade carpet.” It also noted that “the most spectacular of [his statues] is the 12-metre revolving image of him atop a 23-metre high tower in the city's central square.” Meanwhile, “Schoolchildren have to recite oaths of allegiance to their leader every day.”

His current banknote portrait (the same on every denomination) can be seen here. A new design (different portrait) can be seen here on the Turkmenistan government’s official site. Note that the 50 manat may be the world's only currency showing a horse's ass on both sides of the note! Coin portrait here.

Niyazov calls himself “Turkmenbashi,” leader of all Turkmens. Some other evidence for what is politely called his “personality cult”:

The town of Turkmenbashi is named in his honor. At least one district in all Turkmen regions is also named for the leader, and there is a street bearing his name in virtually every settlement.

In 2002, Niyazov renamed January Turkmenbashi.

That’s right, he renamed a month of the calendar after himself.